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Welcome everyone to the first AirborneAngler series: “Deadman’s Cast” interview. The premise is simple- what if today you cast your last? My first interview is with angler and FlyStock organizer Brandon Robinson, @OneBugIsFake on the twitter.

AA (AirborneAngler): Hey Brandon, thank you for joining me today for Deadman’s Cast- your last day on the water. So, let’ s start, what is your favorite fly color and pattern?

BR (Brandon Robinson): Thanks for having me. Well, olive streamers are generally my go-to choice, but it depends on the fish. Big Guads eat small, so I fish small. Highly aggressive trout eat big, so I like to chunk articulated to them. Rainey’s Carp Tease in olive is a good search pattern though. There, we will just go with that. This was not the opening question I was expecting, seems weak. Ope, nope, I got it. I see what you did there. You’re gathering contest intel. If you are sweating it that bad, I’ll buy you a handful. Pobre niño.

AA: You’re sharp and volunteer excess information readily. We’re off to a great start. No- this is not an intel search into the Texas Hill Country Mixed Bag tourney. That implies you have intel to being with. So, a fatal wind knot loops your false cast and olive Rainey Carp Teaser straight into your eye. When you try to remove it you bleed out and die. What body of water did you die on?

BR: I wear safety glasses when fishing for that exact reason. Therefore I reject your scenario, and propose a new one. Keeping with the “Death and Fly Fishing” theme, If I knew I had a few hours left and wanted to fish: What river would I choose?
Damn, that is a tough one. It won’t be a Texas river, but I would have to say I would head for the South Toe River in Western North Carolina.

AA: Interesting. Well, while fishing the South Toe River you stub your toe are unable to walk out drowning in the water. You just die. Feeling sorry for your mishap the local fly shop erects a monument on the bank in your memory. What is it a statue of and what does the inscription say?

BR: I just die? I am not that easy to kill off, buddy. That seems like you might be projecting your own fears, Mr. Over-the-waders… Fine, I’m dead and Chris or Matt raise money to erect a monument in my memory… Due to lack of funding, they would probably just put one of those roadside wooden crosses. That would be kind of funny actually, everybody that shows up after would wonder how a car wrecked that far from the highway. I like it.

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AA: Not all of your fellow anglers could make the memorial dedication but your favorite fly blogger did attend your funeral. Who was it and what did he/she say passing your eye patched corpse in closed or open casket?

BR: Now you’re just trying to get me in trouble. Doesn’t matter, my favorite bloggers don’t even know me. Wait, where did the eye-patch come from? Am I a pirate? Can I be a pirate? A kick-ass fly fishing pirate. I bet I look freaking sexy in a pair of breeches, dead sexy — get it? HA! Screw you, that was punny.

AA: Right. Well, I forgot to mention that when you stubbed your toe and fell- you still foul hooked your eye. Now it has a patch so it can be open casket. Anyways, you are a proud Air Force vet and also creator of the recent famed “FlyStock” Fly Fishing event supporting Project Healing Waters. That’s totally awesome and thank you for your service. But which branch of service would you rather have joined?

BR: I wouldn’t say FlyStock is famous, maybe next year. Thank you for your service as well. Coast Guard. Totally should have been in the brown-water navy. I’m kidding. If my Dad hadn’t of talked some sense into me, I probably would have joined the Corps. Dad made a valid point though, pick something that would provide you with a life afterwards. I chose to learn a trade and I am glad for it, no regrets. I love the Air Force and thanks to a handful of great friends, I love the Corps. I still call them all on November 10th too.

20120409-214300.jpgAA: That’s very patriotic of you. Well, because of your Coast Guard comment I radio St. Peter to deny you access beyond the pearly gates. He owes me for saving his bacon back in ’03 during the invasion and agrees you should be punished. Sentenced to hell you are:

a) fly fishing a skunk for eternity
b) spinner reel fishing forever
c) still fly fishing but being out classed by me
d) all of the above, or
e) other

BR: A) At least I’m fishing. B) Close, but still fishing. C) Wake up sport, you’re dreaming. D) Huh? E) Hell is a place where I catch every fish, every time; without even trying. It would be great at first, but it would lose its novelty quickly when nothing presents a challenge anymore.

AA: I can agree with that. Ok, well now you have 5 seconds to list 3 words your fellow anglers will remember you by forever, what are they?

BR: Atypical, funny, cheap. Atypical is just a nicer way of saying, “not normal” and I don’t think there is a soul that will argue that one. I like to think I am funny, at least funny enough for people to enjoy my company. Cheap, as in I didn’t always have to have the nice things.

AA: Thank you Brandon, in closing I’ve generated a final Fly Fishing Award citation for you. It reads: “Attention to orders! The Department of Fly Anglers posthumously awards the Penny-wise Atypical Humorous award to: Brandon Robinson of OneBugIsFake. Brandon has brought humor into the lives of those around him constantly displaying the fortitude to fly fish in any futile condition on to victory. Despite the number of broken fly rods at his own expense he never ceased to bring a smile. His dedication and perseverance bring great credit upon himself, the flies he flung, and the fly fishing community. Awarded this 11th Day of April, in the Great State if Texas. Signed by my hand, AirborneAngler, Fly Angler of the Texas Hill Country.”

Cue taps folks and that’s a wrap. So there you have it everyone, Deadman’s cast with Brandon Robinson. Our buddy OneBug is not gone yet but I do recommend he get some steel toed wadding boots. Keep wearing those safety glasses too. You can follow Brandon before the afterlife on Twitter at @OneBugIsFake and/or catch up with him on his blog, onebugisfake.com. Until next time- I am signing off.

See you on the high ground,
AirborneAngler

Deadman’s Cast Interviews